Mid 2026. A little reflection was in order, and oh boy, was it needed. But before I go further, let me address the elephant in the room: If you have read me recently, you could be mistaken in thinking that I blame the system for everything. That’s not my aim. We’re not absolved from everything. Systems do shape us, but they don’t erase us. There’s still a steering wheel in our hands, even when the road was built by someone else. Sometimes facing the music means admitting the crash was ours to avoid. This post is me doing that.

Here’s the lesson I keep forgetting but that comes back to bite me: no matter how rational we think we are, we mostly use logic to justify what we’ve already emotionally decided based on fear, habit, or routine. We need regular reminders to put our conscious mind back at the helm, or autopilot takes over.

Case in point: I spread myself thin instead of focusing on one thing. I’ve always had a stack of logical excuses for this:

It’s risky to put all my eggs in one basket. 

My brain needs constant stimulation; it runs on novelty and despises slow and linear progress. 

My health isn’t the best, so I feel a visceral urgency to do everything before it’s too late. 

I want to be a polymath.

And now the trap: all these rationalisations make total sense, but looking back at nearly two decades of chasing multiple goals, they haven’t led to the results I actually want.

Chasing dopamine is easy. Every time uncomfortable silence, friction, or boredom sets in, I bail for the next exciting idea. It’s self-sabotage disguised as uberproductivity, robbing me of long-term, compounding progress. 

That’s why I chose “Rooted” as my theme for this year. I wanted to build a sturdy trunk before branching out everywhere. I reinstated my strict rule: maximum three projects at a time. But autopilot kicked right back in. Soon, projects piled up again because habit always chooses “fun now” over “fun later.”

I can’t alter my brain chemistry, but I can channel it differently. The alternative isn’t forcing myself to create less; it’s going deep instead of going wide.

I’ve already put out so much: short stories, essays, music, YouTube videos. There is more than enough existing material to mine. For example, I could unpack the hidden layers, symbolism, and the moral of my short stories.

So here’s what I’m proposing instead: rather than drowning you in new projects, what existing work would you like me to go deep on? Tell me in the comments!

Also, if you relate to the struggle I described, at what stage are you? Have you identified your “logical excuses”? Do you call them out?

Reflect, redefine, rise!

Rudiano